Ms. Swallow's height?
|
Favorite Holiday?
Her Birthday!!!! |
Favorite Color (that is not black?)
GREEN someone told her black couldn't be her favorite since it is a shade and not a color (whatever!) |
What would Ms. Swallow be doing if she didn't teach middle school?
She would be living on Paradise Island, where she would deflect bullets with her bracelets, fly invisible planes, and lasso her enemies to get at the truth. |
Ms. Swallow's Music Education
GUITAR: Ms. Swallow's 1st instrument of formal instruction. When she was in 3rd grade, she would take her mom's guitar to school a couple times each week for group lessons. The guitar was taller then she was...it was then that Ms. Swallow decided to pursue a smaller, more easily portable instrument.
PIANO: Not really any more easily portable then the guitar...yes, her parents made her take lessons, but were smart enough to take them away when they realized she was not practicing. Ms. Swallow then had to practice a very, very, very, very long time before they would get her lessons again. It was then that Ms. Swallow realized what a great opportunity it was to take lessons and became smarter about when she HAD to practice (like right after dinner when everyone else was doing the dishes. Ms. Swallow would later use this same technic when pursuing her Musical Theatre interests -- "too bad about not being able to clean out the garage...I have rehearsal"). Ms. Swallow plays the piano mostly to support her vocal habit.
VOICE: Ms. Swallow made her first vocal recording at age 3 (a cassette tape to send to her Grandma while her family was with her dad who was working on the Alaskan Pipeline project up near Fairbanks). It was a compilation of classic favorites: "McDonald's had a farm", "I'm a Little Teapot", "You Are My Sunshine", and the "It's a Sin to Tell a Lie" song. Ms. Swallow comes from a very musical family (with the exception of her maternal grandmother who used to threaten at bedtime, "Go to sleep or I will sing to you!"). Ms Swallow began taking formal singing lessons while in High School.
GUITAR: Ms. Swallow's 1st instrument of formal instruction. When she was in 3rd grade, she would take her mom's guitar to school a couple times each week for group lessons. The guitar was taller then she was...it was then that Ms. Swallow decided to pursue a smaller, more easily portable instrument.
PIANO: Not really any more easily portable then the guitar...yes, her parents made her take lessons, but were smart enough to take them away when they realized she was not practicing. Ms. Swallow then had to practice a very, very, very, very long time before they would get her lessons again. It was then that Ms. Swallow realized what a great opportunity it was to take lessons and became smarter about when she HAD to practice (like right after dinner when everyone else was doing the dishes. Ms. Swallow would later use this same technic when pursuing her Musical Theatre interests -- "too bad about not being able to clean out the garage...I have rehearsal"). Ms. Swallow plays the piano mostly to support her vocal habit.
VOICE: Ms. Swallow made her first vocal recording at age 3 (a cassette tape to send to her Grandma while her family was with her dad who was working on the Alaskan Pipeline project up near Fairbanks). It was a compilation of classic favorites: "McDonald's had a farm", "I'm a Little Teapot", "You Are My Sunshine", and the "It's a Sin to Tell a Lie" song. Ms. Swallow comes from a very musical family (with the exception of her maternal grandmother who used to threaten at bedtime, "Go to sleep or I will sing to you!"). Ms Swallow began taking formal singing lessons while in High School.
Ms. Swallow's Junior High Experience in the Days BCD (before compact discs and other i-things)
Ms. Swallow LIKED: French, Drama, US History, Mock Trial, Science (did she even TAKE choir? Yes. did she like it? not so much...but she did like singing "My Lovely Little Cricket")
Ms. Swallow did NOT so much like: Sewing (her teacher told her, "God gave you many talents, sewing is not one of them...ALWAYS buy your clothes!"), the "fun run" in PE (seriously, it seemed like they had us do this at least once a week...), one of the vice principals (uhm...no comment)
What Ms. Swallow wanted to be when she grew up: other than taller? ;) a lawyer or a geneticist (Ms. Swallow really wanted to work on the Human Genome Project...that was until she studied chemisty and found that she had to do Stoichiometry. Unfortunately, her stoichiometry skills were only slightly more developed than her sewing skills. That, and she became discouraged when scientists said they were pretty sure it would take hundreds of years to complete the Human Genome Project...she didn't want to make her life's work trying to complete something that would never be finished...who knew someone would figure out how to use a computer to help with all the sequencing, completing the entire genome by the time Ms. Swallow was finishing college...go figure!)
Ms. Swallow's Claim to Fame? Ms. Swallow was voted "most likely to become President of the United States" by her 9th grade class (oddly enough, by the time Ms. Swallow was ready to graduate from High School, she only managed to garner the "most likely to be heard" nomination from her senior class ~ it sucks to peak in Junior High School)
Music Ms. Swallow listened to while she was a Junior High student: Depeche Mode (in fact, their "Music for the Masses" CD was the FIRST music Ms. Swallow ever personally purchased -- which sounds silly because now there are 8 year olds buying Justin Bieber singles from iTunes), the Cure, Erasure, REM, Simple Minds, a-ha, The Smiths, The Ramones, Duran Duran, The English Beat, Information Society, Madonna (Ms. Swallow still laughs when she remembers that Madonna thought that people would like her music because she was a good dancer...hahaha, it is good Madonna got smart, got a vocal coach and then reinvented herself...), Queen, the Pixies (just saw the Pixies with Weezer in concert...they were AWESOME!), Elvis Costello, The B-52s, UB40, New Order, The Go-Gos, Bananarama, Social Distortion, The Violent Femmes...she totally wanted her phone number to be 8675309
The Most Likely Reason Ms. Swallow is teaching Junior High/Middle School? Penance and Restitution. Ms. Swallow and a friend "kidnapped" her 9th Grade Geography teacher's hall pass (which was a sock monkey). They sent a ransom note to their teacher with the sock monkey's tail attached (No worries, eventually the monkey was returned, although his tail never was quite the same). Her friend & co-conspirator currently teaches Geography to 9th graders. Also, Ms. Swallow's 9th grade Biology teacher once bet her $5.00 she couldn't keep her mouth shut for the entire class period...at the end of the period, Ms. Swallow was $5.00 richer, but her teacher then announced to the class, "Since we now know it is not a biologic impossibility for her to be quiet, we will expect her to do it more often." Well played, Mr. Riches, well played. Yes, folks...Penance and Restitution (you may want to be more careful...or you may end up teaching Middle School, too!)
Ms. Swallow LIKED: French, Drama, US History, Mock Trial, Science (did she even TAKE choir? Yes. did she like it? not so much...but she did like singing "My Lovely Little Cricket")
Ms. Swallow did NOT so much like: Sewing (her teacher told her, "God gave you many talents, sewing is not one of them...ALWAYS buy your clothes!"), the "fun run" in PE (seriously, it seemed like they had us do this at least once a week...), one of the vice principals (uhm...no comment)
What Ms. Swallow wanted to be when she grew up: other than taller? ;) a lawyer or a geneticist (Ms. Swallow really wanted to work on the Human Genome Project...that was until she studied chemisty and found that she had to do Stoichiometry. Unfortunately, her stoichiometry skills were only slightly more developed than her sewing skills. That, and she became discouraged when scientists said they were pretty sure it would take hundreds of years to complete the Human Genome Project...she didn't want to make her life's work trying to complete something that would never be finished...who knew someone would figure out how to use a computer to help with all the sequencing, completing the entire genome by the time Ms. Swallow was finishing college...go figure!)
Ms. Swallow's Claim to Fame? Ms. Swallow was voted "most likely to become President of the United States" by her 9th grade class (oddly enough, by the time Ms. Swallow was ready to graduate from High School, she only managed to garner the "most likely to be heard" nomination from her senior class ~ it sucks to peak in Junior High School)
Music Ms. Swallow listened to while she was a Junior High student: Depeche Mode (in fact, their "Music for the Masses" CD was the FIRST music Ms. Swallow ever personally purchased -- which sounds silly because now there are 8 year olds buying Justin Bieber singles from iTunes), the Cure, Erasure, REM, Simple Minds, a-ha, The Smiths, The Ramones, Duran Duran, The English Beat, Information Society, Madonna (Ms. Swallow still laughs when she remembers that Madonna thought that people would like her music because she was a good dancer...hahaha, it is good Madonna got smart, got a vocal coach and then reinvented herself...), Queen, the Pixies (just saw the Pixies with Weezer in concert...they were AWESOME!), Elvis Costello, The B-52s, UB40, New Order, The Go-Gos, Bananarama, Social Distortion, The Violent Femmes...she totally wanted her phone number to be 8675309
The Most Likely Reason Ms. Swallow is teaching Junior High/Middle School? Penance and Restitution. Ms. Swallow and a friend "kidnapped" her 9th Grade Geography teacher's hall pass (which was a sock monkey). They sent a ransom note to their teacher with the sock monkey's tail attached (No worries, eventually the monkey was returned, although his tail never was quite the same). Her friend & co-conspirator currently teaches Geography to 9th graders. Also, Ms. Swallow's 9th grade Biology teacher once bet her $5.00 she couldn't keep her mouth shut for the entire class period...at the end of the period, Ms. Swallow was $5.00 richer, but her teacher then announced to the class, "Since we now know it is not a biologic impossibility for her to be quiet, we will expect her to do it more often." Well played, Mr. Riches, well played. Yes, folks...Penance and Restitution (you may want to be more careful...or you may end up teaching Middle School, too!)
Ms. Swallow's FAQs
Why are you so short?
Short parents? (isn't genetics fun?!) Ms. Swallow grew until she reached perfection; you may need much longer to achieve the same greatness (plus, Ms. Swallow got to her current height while in 7th grade...you might be done growing, too!).
Do you ALWAYS have to talk into a microphone?
Most students think Ms. Swallow wears her head-set microphone because she likes to hear her voice amplified. They ask if she takes it home so that her voice can be amplified for the benefit of her children (Ms. Swallow is sure they couldn't care less although some of her children have decided to become adult-ish, so maybe the amplification would allow them to hear at their own homes?). She mostly does it to be a visual reminder that if you choose not to do well in Middle and High School, you maybe be forced to use a head-set microphone in your career as a fast food drive-up window attendant (aim high! Pay the price now to succeed in school so you and your family won't have to pay the price later on...not that there is anything wrong with a career in the fast food industry, as long as that is what you want). Feel free to thank Ms. Swallow at any time for this (preferably with a Diet Coke -- see below).
What kind of music is on Ms. Swallow's iPod?
No one really asks this specific question anymore...mostly because iPods are not nearly as cool as once they were and everyone seems to be more interested in Pandora, Spotify, or Amazon Music. But, Ms. Swallow digresses...Most students are a little surprised at what Ms. Swallow listens to in her non-rehearsal time. A lot of it is loud, some of it screamed, and none of it is Country. Sorry! Although she likes Patsy Cline and loves Johnny Cash, enjoys bluegrass and other "roots" music, she cannot abide what has been passing for Country music the last twenty-some-odd years (Ms. Swallow doesn't think ANYONE's tractor is sexy...). Ms. Swallow listens to music from many differing music genres (and she seriously attempts trying to like listening to Country music all the time...no luck so far). Pearl Jam and Nirvana released their mind-blowing and music-world shaking albums during Ms. Swallow's senior year in High School, and she has never been the same since. Ms Swallow also collects songs about girls named "Amy" (or as her parents spell it, "Ami"...Ms Swallow's only stipulation about any collection she may acquire is that she not have to dust it...).
What's up with the Diet Coke? Don't you know that Diet Coke will kill you?
It is clear that none of you teach Middle School, or you would at least be able to guess the answer to this question. Ms. Swallow likes Diet Coke. She doesn't drink (other adult type, non-Middle School appropriate beverages), she doesn't smoke, she's a single mom who teaches Middle School choir and only eats refined sugars and carbs on Saturdays...It is her one and only vice. If the Diet Coke doesn't kill her (she's pretty sure it won't be the leading cause of her eventual demise), something else just might. She knows all about the lab rats... she is just happy she is not one of them :)
What are we doing today?
You'd truly be surprised at how often Ms. Swallow gets asked this one and wishes she could have a diet coke for every time she answers it (for concerns about Diet Coke, see above). Sometimes Ms. Swallow snarkily answers, "derivative equations" or "stoichiometry", but usually we are just doing something musical. Sorry.
I was absent yesterday. Did we do anything important?
Sometimes students are relieved to find out that, in their absence, we did not do any written work. The student then thinks that since there wasn't anything written, they didn't miss anything. This is delusional. When you are absent in a choir class, you miss singing with everyone -- something that cannot be recreated or replaced with an alternate assignment. Lots of parents figure that a choir or guitar class is the perfect time during which to schedule appointments (where a student will be gone for only part of the day). In reality, a missed math period is more easily "made up" than a missed music class. One can recreate what is done in a math class most days on paper (instruction can be given on paper, practice sets can be explained on paper, homework can be assigned on paper). You can "get" all of the information from the class as if you were actually in attendance. Music is something that is made, practiced and perfected IN THE MOMENT...if you miss it, there is not any way to recreate it. Studying music means that we become more perceptive about what we are doing AS we are doing it. As our awareness grows, we are better able to adjust our performance in the moment to improve it. It is an ensemble endeavor. If the ensemble is not complete, it affects the over-all sound and over-all effectiveness of the entire rehearsal. Rehearsal in a music class cannot be re-created in any way (even watching a taped version of an ensemble's rehearsal is nowhere near as effective as actually participating in the rehearsal). This is one of the reasons why the Utah Music Standards specifically mention attendance as an aspect of good rehearsal procedure (something subject to instruction, assessment, and grading). [As the dust settles, Ms. Swallow lightly jumps off her soapbox, grabs a diet coke, and leaves the building...however, she does not drop the mic]
Short parents? (isn't genetics fun?!) Ms. Swallow grew until she reached perfection; you may need much longer to achieve the same greatness (plus, Ms. Swallow got to her current height while in 7th grade...you might be done growing, too!).
Do you ALWAYS have to talk into a microphone?
Most students think Ms. Swallow wears her head-set microphone because she likes to hear her voice amplified. They ask if she takes it home so that her voice can be amplified for the benefit of her children (Ms. Swallow is sure they couldn't care less although some of her children have decided to become adult-ish, so maybe the amplification would allow them to hear at their own homes?). She mostly does it to be a visual reminder that if you choose not to do well in Middle and High School, you maybe be forced to use a head-set microphone in your career as a fast food drive-up window attendant (aim high! Pay the price now to succeed in school so you and your family won't have to pay the price later on...not that there is anything wrong with a career in the fast food industry, as long as that is what you want). Feel free to thank Ms. Swallow at any time for this (preferably with a Diet Coke -- see below).
What kind of music is on Ms. Swallow's iPod?
No one really asks this specific question anymore...mostly because iPods are not nearly as cool as once they were and everyone seems to be more interested in Pandora, Spotify, or Amazon Music. But, Ms. Swallow digresses...Most students are a little surprised at what Ms. Swallow listens to in her non-rehearsal time. A lot of it is loud, some of it screamed, and none of it is Country. Sorry! Although she likes Patsy Cline and loves Johnny Cash, enjoys bluegrass and other "roots" music, she cannot abide what has been passing for Country music the last twenty-some-odd years (Ms. Swallow doesn't think ANYONE's tractor is sexy...). Ms. Swallow listens to music from many differing music genres (and she seriously attempts trying to like listening to Country music all the time...no luck so far). Pearl Jam and Nirvana released their mind-blowing and music-world shaking albums during Ms. Swallow's senior year in High School, and she has never been the same since. Ms Swallow also collects songs about girls named "Amy" (or as her parents spell it, "Ami"...Ms Swallow's only stipulation about any collection she may acquire is that she not have to dust it...).
What's up with the Diet Coke? Don't you know that Diet Coke will kill you?
It is clear that none of you teach Middle School, or you would at least be able to guess the answer to this question. Ms. Swallow likes Diet Coke. She doesn't drink (other adult type, non-Middle School appropriate beverages), she doesn't smoke, she's a single mom who teaches Middle School choir and only eats refined sugars and carbs on Saturdays...It is her one and only vice. If the Diet Coke doesn't kill her (she's pretty sure it won't be the leading cause of her eventual demise), something else just might. She knows all about the lab rats... she is just happy she is not one of them :)
What are we doing today?
You'd truly be surprised at how often Ms. Swallow gets asked this one and wishes she could have a diet coke for every time she answers it (for concerns about Diet Coke, see above). Sometimes Ms. Swallow snarkily answers, "derivative equations" or "stoichiometry", but usually we are just doing something musical. Sorry.
I was absent yesterday. Did we do anything important?
Sometimes students are relieved to find out that, in their absence, we did not do any written work. The student then thinks that since there wasn't anything written, they didn't miss anything. This is delusional. When you are absent in a choir class, you miss singing with everyone -- something that cannot be recreated or replaced with an alternate assignment. Lots of parents figure that a choir or guitar class is the perfect time during which to schedule appointments (where a student will be gone for only part of the day). In reality, a missed math period is more easily "made up" than a missed music class. One can recreate what is done in a math class most days on paper (instruction can be given on paper, practice sets can be explained on paper, homework can be assigned on paper). You can "get" all of the information from the class as if you were actually in attendance. Music is something that is made, practiced and perfected IN THE MOMENT...if you miss it, there is not any way to recreate it. Studying music means that we become more perceptive about what we are doing AS we are doing it. As our awareness grows, we are better able to adjust our performance in the moment to improve it. It is an ensemble endeavor. If the ensemble is not complete, it affects the over-all sound and over-all effectiveness of the entire rehearsal. Rehearsal in a music class cannot be re-created in any way (even watching a taped version of an ensemble's rehearsal is nowhere near as effective as actually participating in the rehearsal). This is one of the reasons why the Utah Music Standards specifically mention attendance as an aspect of good rehearsal procedure (something subject to instruction, assessment, and grading). [As the dust settles, Ms. Swallow lightly jumps off her soapbox, grabs a diet coke, and leaves the building...however, she does not drop the mic]